Have you ever thought to yourself “Who am I?” I know I sure have MANY times over the years.  Yes, I’m a wife, a meem (that’s what my kids’ call me), and Gigi.  I went to college, married my high school sweetheart, worked as a secretary while he was in medical school, then traveled to wherever the US Air Force sent us.  I became the stay-at-home mom and absolutely LOVED always being available for my kiddos.  But then…….I was no longer needed to be there for them.  That left me feeling so EMPTY and not knowing who I really was.  We came back to live in the hometown we grew up in, which is incredibly small, a tiny spot on the map in southern Indiana where there are more livestock than people.  We love it though, the county life is PEACEFUL.  I went back to college to become a teacher and then went on a few years later to get my masters in biology education.  Even while teaching, people knew me - who I was - and yet somehow I felt EXPECTED to look and act “like a doctor’s wife”.  I wasn’t made with a cookie cutter!  And I think I had to work harder - no, I know I had to work harder - because I had to PROVE I was good enough, worthy enough to teach based on my own merits of being an AMAZING teacher.  Yes, I said it.  But I always wanted to please the administrations and looked for their APPROVAL.  Why?  

But you know, I have always had this unspoken FEELING of not fitting into everyone’s mold of who I should be.  I like to have days where I don’t wear makeup (other than mascara - I don’t consider that makeup, it’s like a piece of clothing).  I like to wear t-shirts and sweatpants and some days not do anything with my hair.  That, however, is not what other people think I should be doing - UNSPOKEN - but the looks, they tell it all!  I’m supposed to look and act a certain way because my husband is a doctor.  How RIDICULOUS is that?!   I didn’t grow up with much and that is just rooted in who I am.  I have never thought I was better than anyone else, why should I act like I am just because of my husband’s profession?  

I have always FELT out-of-place.  Do you know what I mean?  And now I think that’s because I never felt like I could be…..ME!  Maybe because I have never REALLY known who I was, just who people expect me to be.

Well, I am no longer teaching.  God took me by the ear and said “I have other plans for you.  Every step along the way I have been preparing you for this.   It’s time for you to go and inspire others.  You are a teacher, but I have something special for you to teach.  Teach people to love me, themselves and others.”  Well, that may not be the exact words, but it’s the message I received.  Do I feel WORTHY?  No.  Do I have a gift of inspiring people?  Apparently.  I have had many people tell me I inspire them.  Me?  I think that people often SEE in us what we can’t see in ourselves.  I have had people congratulating me on what I’m doing, and that’s basically the way they put it.  I don’t think “being a blogger” is something people think is real.  Shoot, I’m just taking it one day at a time and hoping that I’m able to encourage and inspire people to be themselves.

It took me a few months, but I started feeling, well, FREE!  I don’t feel like I’m under anyone’s microscope.  I don’t need anyone’s APPROVAL.  I am exploring who I am.  What do I like to do?  What do I like to wear?  What do I find joy in?  What can I do to inspire others just by being me?  At 56, I am finally learning WHO I AM.  And you know what?  It feels good.  No, It feels GREAT!  I like to wear Converse sneakers and I didn’t know that about me!

So who are YOU?  Think about it.  Take a good LONG delve into what you think about yourself and who YOU are or want to be.  Not what or who someone else wants or expects you to be. Find out who you really are and EMBRACE it! The power is yours for the taking.  TAKE IT!  

Have a glorious week my friends!