Let’s Talk…..Sticks & Stones - Words That Hurt
"Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.”
~ Unknown
BANTERING, good-humored teasing they say. A one-way or back-and-forth conversation with someone in a “seemingly” lighthearted and WITTY manner that is meant to be funny and not serious. But is it?
Teasing remarks, even made in jest, can cause DEEP hurt. Why? Because there’s usually some truth behind those lighthearted comments that could SPARK feelings of failure, guilt or worthlessness on the recipient. And it’s easy to join in on the banter - make an unkind comment - drop a sarcastic reply. But those WORDS, maybe they are intended as lighthearted, but oh how they can HURT. Like you’ve just been stabbed through the heart.
We don’t often STOP to think about how our words might land. Whether it's with a family member, friend, or co-worker. “Be CAREFUL with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not FORGOTTEN.” You don’t know what someone is going through that they’ve not told you about. We keep so many things hidden in our hearts. Thoughts of insignificance or “not-enough” running RACES in our minds.
Sometimes you may REALIZE that what you’ve just said has hurt someone. It hits you like a brick wall as soon as those words leave your MOUTH. What you said just inflicted PAIN. You can’t take those words back. You can’t just reel it back in like it NEVER happened.
Friends, we don’t need to point out what someone already knows about themselves. They may be really TRYING to deal with it and we just brought those feelings up and out in the open. A WOUND that is trying to heal with a mental bandaid that was just exposed and open to germs and infection.
But it’s done. We can only HOPE the person forgives us. Shows us kindness we don’t deserve. We need to shape our speech so that kind and UPLIFTING words flow out readily. It takes a change in MINDSET, that’s for sure.
Instead of putting people down, even in a bantering manner, why not BUILD them up instead? A KIND word can go a long way.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Whoever came up with that was in DENIAL, because words can not only hurt, they can mutilate, cause irreparable damage, bring about agonizing and excruciating PAIN! No, words themselves don’t have the POWER to hurt you. But we give them power. They cannot be unheard, unfelt. They were said with intention, even if it was meant as good-humored TEASING.
EVERYONE has faults. Everyone has something they are insecure about. There’s no need to make someone feel “less-than” just to give you a lead in the bantering game.
We ALL need to feel loved. We all need to be kind. There’s no need to cause pain, whether intentional or not. Take your words captive, PROCESS them, and then decide if what you are thinking of saying is going to build someone up or tear them down. We are all trying to live in a world full of ups and downs, mountain highs and down in the trenches lows.
SAY something nice and uplifting to someone today. Someone you may rather banter with. As Proverbs 16:24 (NLT) says, “Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
May you have a sweet to the soul week my friends!
